Torch & Soul
You just can't tell if it's them — or you. And that one question is keeping you stuck, spiraling, and second-guessing everything. This workbook ends that.
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I know what it feels like to be in a relationship that makes you question your own mind.
You're not crazy. You're not too sensitive. You're not imagining it.
But you also can't tell if what you're feeling is your own old wounds talking — or if they are actually doing what you think they are doing.
I survived narcissistic relationships that were designed to make me doubt my own perception. I know what it's like to explain something to someone who looks at you like you're the problem. I know what it's like to feel completely destabilized by someone who looked completely fine to everyone else.
I also know what it's like to finally see the pattern clearly. And how different everything becomes the moment you can.
This workbook is the tool I wish I had. It doesn't guess. It doesn't validate you blindly. It shows you the pattern — with evidence — so you can stop letting confusion make your decisions.
"The confusion isn't a personality flaw. It's what happens when two things get mixed together — your nervous system and their behavior. Once you can separate them, everything becomes clear."— MELISSA, TORCH & SOUL
Everything inside is built around one goal — getting you to a clear answer about what you're actually in.
The core question answered behaviorally — so you stop guessing and start seeing the pattern for what it actually is.
A step-by-step process to look at what actually happened — not how it felt in the moment — so emotion stops distorting the evidence.
Evaluate the relationship based on their consistent behavior over time — not their best day or their worst day.
See exactly what breadcrumbing, push-pull, future-faking and avoidance actually look like — so you can name what you're experiencing.
What to say when you need clarity, when you need to set a limit, and when you're ready to step back — written out and ready.
Stop the spiral. A structured plan to collect evidence, regulate your nervous system, and get to a clean decision — in two weeks.
Stay with structure, require repair, pull back access, or walk away — with a clear path for each so you know exactly what to do next.
Why hot-cold dynamics feel addictive, why you keep going back, and what's actually happening in your body — in plain language.
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I stayed confused too long. It cost me too much. I built this workbook so you don't have to pay that same price.
If you want to know the truth about what you're in before your next conversation — this is where you start.
Get the $17 Workbook →Already have the free Is It Me or Is It Them? guide? This is the complete system.
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You've been confused long enough.
You've been second-guessing yourself long enough.
You've been letting the confusion make your decisions long enough.
You deserve to know the truth about what you're in. This is how you find it.
— Melissa, Torch & Soul
Get the $17 Workbook →One time. Instant access. No subscription.